


The Space Between

by factorielle



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte
Genre: Angst, Jealousy, M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-08
Updated: 2011-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-25 20:36:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/274517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/factorielle/pseuds/factorielle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hanai has his own reason to keep this relationship quiet, but it doesn't mean he has to like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Space Between

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Fujiwara_no_Seimei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujiwara_no_Seimei/gifts).



One thing Hanai's never unlearned how to do is second-guess himself. It was easy enough to handle back in middle school, when his coach ended up overriding the decisions he was most uncertain about, but things are different now.

Like this: Abe's been back to the field for months now and it's a non-issue, but Hanai still wonders, sometimes, if his offering to be the back-up catcher in Tajima's place really had much to do with the inferiority complex he will never admit to having out loud.

Because he read to his sisters every night since they were brought home from the hospital to their sixth birthday, and many more times after that, and while on the whole there was more Rockman than Momotarou in there, it still taught him how stories work.

And these three years he has, they are for the tale of the battery, of how they learned to work together and became a unit, of how they led their team to Koshien and no girl could come between them for the three years they played together.

(When he's honest with himself, he has to admit that in this argument 'story' is preceded by 'magazine cover'. Somehow, that makes it worse.)

If there's a space for someone else in Mihashi's story, for desperate attempts at conversation preceding awkward courting and an even more awkward kiss... If there's a space for all that at all, it's not an Hanai-shaped one.

So he's had to carve himself that space into the fabric of Mihashi's life, and he's not ready to leave it, but there are days, and those days are pretty much every day, when that space is too small and cramped and suffocating.

The thing is, Mihashi is terrified. With reason, too. Hamada has delighted in telling them all about the two boys who ended up quitting school five months from graduation last year, and the verbal abuse that preceded it. Momokan made sure to give them a we-are-all-different-and-that's-okay lecture after that, and everyone seemed sorry enough, but Mihashi wouldn't look at him and none of the others seemed to think that maybe these boys had done nothing worse than fall in love.

Mihashi is terrified and Hanai understands why, he really does. He has his own reasons to keep this quiet, as well: morale and fairness and the general wish to not get the baseball team called names because their captain is a fag. It makes sense, not to say anything.

It makes sense.

Hanai hates it.

Especially now, when it's midwinter and even their crammed little bit of a clubroom is icy cold. Sweat freezes on the body but Abe is still content to stand there with his own top off, patting Mihashi with a towel while he admonishes him about getting ill. Sakaeguchi and Izumi exchange a tired glance but go about changing out of their uniforms without commenting, and Hanai keeps his own back to the battery, gritting his teeth at every repetition of 'yes Abe-kun' and 'thank you Abe-kun'.

He forces himself into patience, but there's nothing he's waiting for, really. When it's time to go home, they'll go in opposite directions, both of them accompanied by teammates. There's no saying goodbye in the evening, not the way Hanai would want to.

Later, though: after his bath, after his homework, after taking care of a hundred little things, he'll call Mihashi and they'll spend five or ten minutes trying to have a conversation. They'll agree on the time and place of their early meeting in the morning, the only time they can really get to themselves, and say goodnight, and when they hang up they'll both be smiling and a little embarrassed.

But the last thing Mihashi will see before he falls asleep is an email from Abe, something along the lines of 'make sure you cover yourself properly', and there's no way Hanai can fight against that.

**Author's Note:**

> [Prompt] Hanai and Mihashi are dating but keeping it a secret.
> 
> Prompt: Hanai POV, being jealous at Abe/Mihashi's standard locker room interactions, because Abe can be affectionate/touchy/doting in public, but Hanai can't because it's a secret.
> 
> I Just want to hear a little of what's going on in his head. Make it jealous!


End file.
